Things That Buzz in the Night

These flies were half the size of my fist. They came at you and stuck to you with a single-minded purpose you had to admire…
~ Terri Cheney

If you’ve read my musings for any length of time, you might remember that two years ago, a stupid insect decided to land in my ear as I was trying to fall asleep one night in Bologna. I won’t bore you with the horrifying details, but suffice to say that it took a lot of time of jumping around, slapping my head, and sticking my ear in the shower to get the minuscule vampire out of my ear canal. I then designed a tissue flower to put in my ears while I slept to keep any manner of flying insect out.

If you are guessing that maybe it happened again, you would be about half correct. Change of venue and change of outcome, but I was back in the tissue flower business temporarily in Firenze.

I didn’t sleep well in Florence last week. First of all, the fall did a number on my limbs, and my right hand and wrist hurt when I even thought about moving them. Secondly, I was in that upstairs room which, in itself, was not bad, but having to sleep on a zillion-year old metal bed that squeaked when I breathed was a pain in the royal (four-letter word deleted).

The night after I fell, I was asleep when a high-pitched “Eeeeeerrrrrrrwwoweeeerrrrrrr” woke me up around 2:00 am. BUG. I couldn’t move my right hand to swat at it, and my left hand was under the covers, so I popped up and turned on the light. I sat still and didn’t hear the noise again, so I turned off the light and lay down again.

“Eeeeeerrrrrrrwwoweeeerrrrrrr.” I sat up and turned on the light again. No bug. Off went the light. Down went I. “Eeeeeerrrrrrrwwoweeeerrrrrrr,” screeched the bug 30 seconds later. Up. Light on. Light off. Down. We played the light and screech game about four times until I couldn’t take it any more.

I decided to make another ear flower so I could try to sleep. I twisted the tissue into a little rosebud, stuck the stem in my ear, and lay down. I also decided to leave the light on because that was the only time I didn’t hear the flying germ machine. Point. Set. Match. I got a little sleep even with the light blazing the rest of the night.

So, I’m back in the tissue ear flower business again. I’ve improved the design so that the flower doesn’t stick out as much and is more comfortable. I’ll be taking orders shortly, so keep an eye out for instructions.